I'm usually the happiest person ever, but at this moment I am quite angry with myself and sad. There is a guy I like (OMG A TEEN GIRL WITH A CRUSH OMG!!!) and I never talk to him. It's one of those crushes where you admire from afar, learn alot about (thank you face-stalk) but are too fucking afraid to talk to. Well anyways, I had some of the most perfect chances to talk to him today and guess what, I DIDN'T!!!! I'm so angry, I was confidant and I looked pretty hot; it would have been the perfect day.. But I gave up that chance. And now, I just got back from the senior show, and I feel like I have no friends (except madeline). Laura, i feel like you just think I'm some lame kid and you're only still friends with me because we have been friends for so long. Matt seemed bored of me the moment he saw me. Grace seemed distant. Caroline seemed like she was too cool for me. Cooper hasn't talked to me in two months. I don't think Matt Berry cared that I thought he was the star of the show. Patrick seemed bored with me all day. I hate feeling like this. And now I'm even more angry with myself for posting this on blogspot, but I figure no one is going to read it anyways so what the hell- I would rather type than write this in my therapy journal; and I need to get it out. I want to be funny, pretty, smart, witty, irresistable, and magical- none of those qualities I posess. Most of all, I want to be brave, but how can I be when I can't muster up the courage to SPEAK with someone I really like.
I hate whining, but getting this out is good for me. I really feel like I'm dying a little bit on the inside each time I look at myself in the mirror, hear myself laugh or speak, each time I wake up.
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